On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
