Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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