I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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