Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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