Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
