the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
