sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
