can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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