That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
