This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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