Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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