Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Success! We fucked roommates!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
