I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
