you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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