That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
