Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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