I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
