First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
