before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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