Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If that was your dad, he is hot
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
