Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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