the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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