what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize