Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
