Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
