I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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