I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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