Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Is it because I queefed?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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