You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
