life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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