soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
