Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
