i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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