Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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