I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
