While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
