So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
