I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Shitshow foam night was such a success
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
