fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
