Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize