my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips