I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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