dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
