Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
