I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize