yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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