She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
