You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
