We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
