how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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