Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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