the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
