I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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