writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
