Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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