Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
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Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize