a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i barfeds in our rink
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize