i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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