we're blogging at a bar
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
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