im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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