I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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