So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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